Holy crow I cant believe how behind the times you are. I have so much to tell you it{s kind of ridiculous. (And for some reason my apostrophe key is weird so sorry for the grammar errors).
You{re not gonna believe what happened. Remember how last week I was all worried that I was going to become Senior companion and be miserable with a bossy junior companion? Well, we got Changes on Tuesday morning. We all huddled around the phone, anxiously drinking in every word from our District Leader. "Hna. Alvarenga is going to Mambure," he said, and Hna. Alvarenga jumped on her bed and went, "WHOOO!!" "Hna. Rivera is going to Ypacarai." Cue Hna. Rivera throwing herself face-first on her bed and crying. Then, "And Hna. Springer is staying...
"...to TRAIN."
...
...
...
...
We all just froze and gaped at each other. Finally I found the strength to speak again. "No, Elder," I said, "We{re talking about ME. Hna. SPRINGER. Hna. ALVARENGA is training. What am I doing? Am I going to Mambure?"
There HAD to have been a mistake. Hna. Alvarenga has a year and still hasn{t trained. There are eight Hermanas with more time than me. Three of them still haven{t trained. I{m not even halfway through my time in Paraguay yet. I haven{t become Senior companion yet. How could I train??
But the Elder just laughed and said, "I{m serious, Hermana. Be at the office at 7:00am tomorrow for your training meeting."
That day, Tuesday, was the single most stressful day of my entire life--worse than starting colllege. Worse than taking the ACT. Worse than finding out the spelling bee was the next day and I hadn{t started studying yet. I have never EVER before felt so completely, painfully overwhelmed. It was like the Universe{s worst ever pop quiz. I didn{t know how to plan our days. I didn{t know how to navigate Villa Hayes. I didn{t know how to prepare people for baptisms. Our house was disorganized. Our fridge was empty. Our area book was incomplete. There was so much to do to prepare, and I literally had two hours to do it all. The rest of the day, we still had to go to work.
I was TERRIFIED. I can{t even describe how burdened I felt. It gave me a headache, took away my appetite, made my mouth dry and my heart pound and I just wanted to scream to make the weight go away. It wasn{t training that scared me so much as being left to take care of all of Villa Hayes ALONE, with an impressionable Junior, brand new companion depending on ME for everything. I had so little to work with. I was practically opening a new area. What if I taught poorfly? What if I got us lost? What if I got us robbed? What if i forgot to visit someone and they forever hated the church?
Really, the Liahonas and my Patriarchal Blessing saved me. That Monday before, I{d read so many Liahona articles for fun and reviewed my blessing for the first time in a while, and they were fresh on my mind. I remembered all of those stories of missionaries or other church members called to do more difficult things. I was reminded that everything works out in the end, that God has a plan, and especially, as I teach people every day, that we must turn to God in times of need.
And you know what? I can honestly say that I have never prayed so hard in my life. Never before have I felt such a need for God{s comfort and guidance. I said a silent prayer every time I wasn{t required to speak. I{d read a Liahona article earlier about the importance of acknowledging that we are nothing without God, and that{s exactly what i did. I must have prayed a thousand times, "Heavenly Father, I can{t do this. I can{t do this alone. I need you so badly right now. PLEASE help me." I{ve never sought God{s direction so sincerely before.
Tuesday was a blur as I followed my companions around to say goodbye to people. I went out with them, but the whole time I was in my own little world, trying to remember where everyone lived, planning what they needed to be taught later, and most of all, praying. I slept so poorly Tuesday night, and on Wednesday morning felt close to tears. I tried to focus on other things, like fitting all three of us AND ten bags{ worth of the Hermanas{ stuff into one taxi. They were really reassuring, the Hermanas. They told me to call them any time I needed help.
That morning at the office was fun, though. There were 29 new missionaries coming and eleven leaving so there were a LOT of us there for Changes. I saw Hna. Stagg again, finally. She went HOME that day. How crazy is that? I also finally saw Elder Andreasen (from my MTC district). Five of the eight of us in our travel group are training this Change. What a quality group we are. :) I tried to keep quiet around the other Hermanas about me training but eventually word got out. They all seemed really skeptical, and a few of the older ones were outright angry that they still hadn{t trained and now i was. I just wanted to be like, "It{s not my fault! I{d happily give you the job before me!"
Too soon it was time for me to go to my training meeting, with 28 Elders. It was weird being the only Hermana in the room. All the Elders kept joking, "Hey Hermana, when the newbies come in, I bet I can guess who your companion{s gonna be! I{m really good at guessing."
Ha. Ha.
President Madariaga spent two hours with us before our "babies" arrived. He looked just as nerve-wracked as the rest of us. This was the biggest group of new missionaries he{s ever had to deal with, and he seemed worn out. He actually started crying as he told us how much praying he{s done, hoping to do the right thing for the new missionaries. He emphasized how crucial it is that new missionaries get the very best training. Before, it was common practice to sent new missionaries to trainers who needed to be trained. But Elder Holland cracked down on that hard, saying, "That just DOUBLES your amount of struggling missionaries! You need to send new missionaries to the very best trainers, to double your amount of EXCELLENT missionaries instead!" President Madariaga said he knows that we{re not perfect, and he doesn{t expect us to be. But he{s been making arrangements prayerfully for the past six weeks, and this is how he feels it should be. He expects us to rely on the Lord, be obedient with exactness, and give our "babies" the very best . Then he introduced us to a new training program the Church came out wiht just in time for me to train. It gives us an easily-followed, specific plan for the new missionaries{ first 12 weeks. So by the end of our meeting with President, I was feeling a lot better. President actually said at the very end, looking desperate to do the right thing, "Elders and Sister, if any of you really feel like you can{t do this, just tell me and we{ll change your assignment." Not gonna lie, I perked up at the idea, knowing he was dead serious. But then i realized that I DIDN{T feel that way. Yeah, I was freaking out, but I didn{t feel the Spirit telling me to back out. I felt only assurance that I COULD do it. So I didn{t quit.
My companion{s name is Hna. Devries. She{s from Sparks, Nevada, and looked really familiar to me when I first saw her. She went to BYU so maybe that{s it, or maybe it{s just because she looks like a brunette Jodie Foster. (Oh, P.S. I saw Elder Barazoto! He{s so excited to be here and has an awesome trainer.) Hna. Devries actually speaks Spanish really well already. I hardly ever have to interpret for her, and she{s very good at identifying and learning words or phrases she doesn{t know. She{s a fast, excited learner, with that awesome fresh-from-the-MTC motivation to change the world.
That first couple of hours together, we got right to work studying at the house. Well, SHE studied. I read the scriptures and Predicad for a bit, then just sunk back into fervent prayer for help. I was determined to be obedient, reliable, and positive. I was going to make Hna. Devries an awesome missionary who was going to change the world. The only problem was that I didn{t know where to start. There was so much ground to cover and so few investigators. I wanted to give Hna. Devries an excellent spiritual experience right from the start, but didn{t know where to find it. The map confused me, the area book was a mess...
Then a scripture popped into my head. "And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order, for it is not requisitie that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize. Therefore, all things must be done in order." Mosiah 4:27. I thought of that, then put the area book away, turned away from the map, and decided that we were literally going to start at Square One. Our numbers were going to stink, but we needed to start small and do everything right rather than scramble around trying to do everything and doing it poorly.
And that{s exactly what we{ve done this week. We started by visiting the most active members, getting to know them, pinpointing them on the map, gaining their confidence, then having them help us find the menos activos and some investigators. We{re starting by cleaning the inner vessel and working our way out--it{s slow progress but it{s managale and effective and best of all, the Spirit reassures me that I CAN DO IT.
It{s like a ligh switch was flipped. The whole character of my mission just got drastically changed in a matter of days. Before, I hung in the shadow of my Senior companions, sort of getting to know people and not really relying on the Lord as much as on my Senior companions. But now it{s like I{ve had to step up to a higher spiritual plain. My prayers are so much more sincere and faithful as I have no one BUT the Lord to rely on. I have to do all the talking, and the people are so much more important to me now. We KNOW each other. One young man said the other day, "Hermana Springer, you{re so much happier now."
And it{s true. :)
It{s still a little hard to not be discouraged sometimes when I realize how few people we have to teach and no real prospective baptisms. But Hna. Devries is a great "daughter." It{s so fun watching her get so excited by the little Paraguayan things that I{ve gotten so used to, just like a newborn{s first experiences. And because I{m so young on the mission and so desperate for help, we{re already co-workers. From Day One I{ve been able to count on her to help me plan and teach. I just try to tap into her MTC drive to make this the best area ever--to be there as a guide but let her follow the Spirit freely. Our lessons have been excellent. We come away from them feeling like if the poeple didn{t accept our message, it wasn{t our fault. We do the best we can, and we{re determined to let this whole city know how cool we are. We have at least three months here together, and I know we{re gonna leave it way better than how we found it.
Jeez, I just can{t believe I{m training already. I{m senior companion. I{ll never be junior companion again. I may train multiple times. It{s. CRAZY.
But lucky Hna. Devries started her mission just in time for a laid-back General Conference weekend. Jealous! But remember how last Conference I was sick as a dog and it was difficult for me to go? Well apparently Conference is such a huge blessing that we missionaries are meant to struggle hard before enjoying it. Friday was the hottest day I{ve ever had in Paraguay (again, lucky Hna. Devires). Then Saturday morning dawned blazing hot, too, only to bring a MONSOON an hour before Conference! We bundled up and made it onto the bus okay, soaked but confident. Then we got to Mariano (we go to our stake centers to watch it), and the streets were literally turned into rivers. We made it to one block away from the chapel relatively easily, but then that last block was ridiculous. We had no choice but to wade through knee-deep water, wearing mid-calf-length skirts. Hna. Devries just kept laughing and saying, "This is CRAZY!" over and over. She{s thrilled by the adventure she gets to write home about today. I was just exhausted and happy to finally make it to Conference, soaked to the skin and smelling like frogs but at least on time to hear it all.
Then the power went out right in the middle of Elder Scott{s talk.
I almost cried.
We got power back in time for Elder Packer{s talk (we called other missionaries to find out the temples--SO COOL!!), then the power went out once more during the Saturday afternoon session. But Sunday everything went perfectly. It was a beautiful conference. I wish I had next month{s Liahona already so I can re-read those talks again and again. I{ll have to go more in-depth next week about what I loved, but just know that I especially connected with Carl B. Cook{s talk. It was just what I needed to hear.
I{m really sad Conference is over already, but I felt really connected to you all as I stood and sang the intermediate hymns, knowing you were doing so at the same time--or when I heard them talk about missionaries and knew that your thoughts were briefly turned to me. Just think, next conference I{ll be almost home! CRAZY!
Gotta go. This e-mail took a long time to type out. I LOVE YOU!! PRAY FOR ME!
---Hna. Springer
P.S. Thank you Evie, Laurel, Holly, Grandma, Mom, Dad, Ashley, Sarah, and Amanda for your e-mails this week.
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