Week 81 - Paraguay - Concepcion

Mis Queridos,

THE TIME SPEEDILY COMETH!! 

The guy who runs the internet cafe is listening to American music that I'm very familiar with, and I'm feeling totally innocent singing along, because this is my second-to-last day. At six o'clock when we go out to work, I promise my mind will be completely focused on the gospel. But for now, all untrunkiness is being thrown out the window. I am excited beyond words. 

But before I get SUPER trunky on you, I'll tell you all about this week.

First of all, Hna. Goimarac and I broke our companionship record and met our daily goals five days out of seven this week. It wasn't quite the 7/7 we were aiming for, but it was much better than our average 2/7. We found some amazing new investigators, had great lessons with our progressing investigators, and did lots of contacting. Hna. Goimarac is set up for success after I'm gone, and I feel very accomplished for having done so well my last week.

I've been getting lots of sweet letters from Paraguayans this week. A girl from Villa Hayes wrote to me to thank me for changing her life just by being her friend when she felt friendless. That, along with little cards and pictures given to me from the Primary and other Concepcion friends are making me very emotional and feeling very very blessed.

I've been taking TONS of photos (don't you worry) and saying lots of goodbyes and trying to capture the best and sometimes the worst of Paraguay to try and share with you later. I've been doing lots of things for "the last time"--last Sacrament meeting, last member-given lunch, last trip to the grocery store, last time starting to read the White Handbook from the beginning in companionship study...

I got a pedicure from our investigator Leida so that we could get a lesson in with her (she's so busy working, giving people manicures and pedicures, that she can never share with us). It felt awesome and my feet look pretty and I feel like a girly girl for the first time in over a year. :)

Gladys and her daughters decided that they're not waiting for Juan Angel to quit smoking anymore. He hasn't shown much progress despite his love for the gospel, and so they're getting baptized without him. This Friday. I can't accurately describe to you how painful it was to have to tell her that I won't be there. Why couldn't I leave only THREE DAYS LATER? :( If I seem a little bummed at around 3:00pm on Friday, now you know why. I may have to photoshop myself into their baptism photo. That's basically the only recuerdo I wanted.

But anyways, no regrets. Today we had so much fun with the Elders. We got ahold of a Concepcion tour guide, who took us to an Indian Monument not too far away from our area. It was pretty cool, but we were bummed that we couldn't go up into it and see the view (it's closed for renovations--it was built in the 60s and basically hasn't been fixed up at all since then, so it would be dangerous to try and climb it). Apparently it used to be a communications tower during the Chaco War, but when the war ended they turned it into a tribute to the native Paraguayans.

Then when we expressed sadness at not being able to go into it, the tour guide revealed that she could let us into the giant Virgin Mary statue in the middle of the city. We had no idea that was possible, so we excitedly took her up on that. It was awesome. The view was spectacular. It was the perfect last P-Day activity for me--to get a good long look at this city I've come to love so well. The tour guide is going to e-mail me the pictures she was taking of us the whole time (how crazy that she can e-mail them to ME so soon!), and now Hna. Goimarac has lots of things the tour guide can take her and her new companion to do on future P-Days. We were all very happy about the whole thing.

Sorry, this e-mail is already getting long, and I haven't even gotten into the trunky talk yet. But I have to mention one more thing. Today when we were buying groceries, I noticed that the cashier was pretty quiet and seemed really bored or bummed about something. I wasn't feeling exactly peppy, either, buying groceries for only one more day in Paraguay, but I felt impressed to say something nice to her. So I said, "I like your earrings. They look great on you." She was like, "Huh? Oh. Thanks," then went back to ringing up the groceries of the lady behind me in line. I just went to get my stuff together, not thinking anything more about it. Then when we were about to walk out the door, one of the store employees came up to us and said, "A gift from the cashier." She handed me the very earrings I'd just complimented! When I caught the cashier's eye across the store, she was smiling at me very warmly. I mouthed "gracias," with a huge grin on my face. I don't even have pierced ears (yet) but I felt so great inside knowing that I'd brightened somebody's day and it had been appreciated. That's Paraguayan love for you. 

*Sigh* I'm still dying very happy despite not being able to see the Meza family baptized. I know that I've done all that I could as a missionary, and now the Lord needs me somewhere else. It's a very, very difficult emotion to describe, having my heart torn two ways like this. 

Hna. Goimarac and I are both very intrigued by the fact that I'm not a perfect missionary, despite having been practicing at it for 18 straight months. I still have to work very hard in each lesson. I don't know guarani very well, and I still mess up in Spanish every now and then. I kind of expected that by the time the mission ended I'd just float around like an angel, blessing lives with little effort, being perfectly fluent in the language. But I'm not. The conclusion I draw from that isn't that I just didn't work hard enough; it's that I've been a perfect missionary from Day 1. God never expected me to be flawless, but He's given me opportunities despite my shortcomings to share His gospel since the day I left the MTC. It's still very important to practice and study and work hard, but as long as we follow the Spirit, we're always perfect missionaries. It's not about skill, it's about faith.

And I definitely HAVE improved a ton, trying to be a perfect missionary. These have been the best 18 months for my life. I needed to learn the gospel as much as my investigators. I needed to learn from the Paraguayans possibly even more than they needed to learn from me. By becoming a part of their lives, I've shared what I know and also learned what they know. The way they live by their testimonies, the way they make things work despite their poverty, the way they face challenges with faith...I'm never going to be able to forget them. They've become a part of me. I feel like the greatest convert I've created is MYSELF.

I was so naive at the beginning. I had no idea about life or the gospel. I kind of shudder to think of how lame and shallow those first few e-mails home were. I don't really want to re-read them. :) Now I know what Paraguay is REALLY like, and I'm going to love it forever. God took everything that I knew away--the luxuries, the technology, the free time--so that I could discover the beauty of the world and discover who I really am and can be. I've had to rely on the Spirit and on my own spiritual strength to get through these last 18 months, and I've become so changed by it.

My greatest challenge when I get home, I think, is going to be applying what I've learned here. I feel like these last 18 months were just a training period to get me ready for "real life," and now I'm going to be left to my own devices. No companion constantly at my side. No daily planners. No perfectly-scheduled mornings centered on gospel study. At least, not quite in the same way. I like routine, and I like studying tranquilly in my apartment every day, and I like the surety of every day here on the mission. I may not know exactly what's going to happen, but I always know what I'M going to do--contact, teach, help, and work my tail off. That won't be quite the same when I get back, and yet it SHOULD be. This is going to be my test--showing the Lord that I learned the most important life lessons and that I'm going to serve Him forever. 

I can't believe how excitedly I counted down the days during the mission. Now the days are gone and I'm so confused as to where they went. It's SO HARD to say goodbye. I'm still in shock. I really feel like I have two places to call Home now. My heart will always belong to both, and while it's a joy to go back to one, I'll miss the other so badly.

I was comforted by D&C 133 this week. I loved verses 57-59, about how the Lord sends the weak things to "thrash the nations." I definitely am a weak thing, but I've never felt stronger nor more important and needed by the Lord in my entire life. But I promise to continue spreading the Word and doing all that the Lord requires as faithfully as I have here in Paraguay.

I also liked vs. 15, and 3 Nephi 21:29. The Lord prepared everything for my success before I even got my mission call. I always trusted in Him to lead me towards happiness. Now I also have to trust Him to be my "rearward." I'm scared to leave my investigators and converts in the hands of other missionaries, but I know that the Lord will continue nurturing the seeds I've planted. He's got my back. I can safely leave Paraguay behind, unworried. At least, I'll try.

But my absolute favorite verse today is D&C 130:2. I know that if I make it to the Celestial Kingdom and all of my Paraguayans make it, too, we'll be friends and neighbors and siblings FOREVER. That has given me an incredible added drive to my goal to achieve celestial glory. I want to see my Paraguayans again. Many of them don't have internet. None of them have mailing addresses. I may never see some of them ever again, even if i do manage to make a trip back down here someday. But I know that the same sociality that exists here on earth exists there in heaven, tambien, and that I WILL see my wonderful Paraguayan brothers and sisters again someday. I'm going to do all I can to deserve that privelege to see them again.

I'm going to miss it all in the meantime--the flowers, the trees, the milanesa sandwiches, the random weather, the river, the friendly culture, the simple living habits, the frogs... everything.

And I'm going to miss all of your letters, especially. Thank you SO MUCH for all of your letters. You have no idea how much that meant to me. Hearing from you and receiving word of your love and support got me through some hard days. Thank you for being faithful and loving and selfless. I've missed you all so much, but I'm glad I got to see the Lord's promise to me fulfilled--that you would all be okay while I was gone. I know that He is aware of me, and that He's aware of all of you, and that He's aware of all my Paraguayans. Every single moment of this mission has been a gift from Him, and I know that the future holds just as much joy, if I trust in Him to guide me right even in "real life." I know that the Church is true with all my heart, and I promise all of you that I will NEVER turn my back on it. I will NEVER do anything that I wouldn't want one of my investigators to do. After obeying and trusting in Him so completely these last 18 months, I can honestly testify to you that that's the only way to go. He has it all in His hands. Our own strength, our own desires, our own opinions won't get us anywhere if we're not aligned with His will. I know that this is His Work, not mine, not Pte. Monson's, not Joseph Smith's. Our Savior lives. He guides His church today. His gospel is true. It's meant to make us freer and happier than we can even imagine. I know, because that's how I feel right now after having applied it to my own life and helped others apply it to theirs.

I love you all. I'll be seeing you very, very soon. 

---Hna. Springer (soon to be just plain "Carly")

"Tomorrow we'll discover what our God in heaven has in store. One more life, one more day, ONE DAY MORE!"





You don't have much longer to wait to see ALL my photos, so I'm just sending a few today. :)

1-Me and the faithful Relief Society sisters of Concepcion Rama 1
2-The Indian Tower (a monument to the native Paraguayans) that we visited today
3-Me with the Centro behind me (taken from the top of the humongous Virgin statue!)
4-Me with one of our favorite member families (can we talk about the sassiness of the girl sitting behind me? She's so funny!)

Sorry for the lack of details, but I need to give you SOME reason to make you excited to see me this weekend. :)

---Carly

Week 80 - Paraguay - Concepcion

Dearest Familia,

Wow! Great job everybody! This week you sent me so many e-mails and made me so happy this morning! Thank you Blairs, Nana, Goompa, Grandma, Jessie, Shelli, Dad, Mom, Chase, Amanda, Sarah, and Ashley for your letters (trunky as they may be). I'm glad you all had a fun Fourth of July and are enjoying your summer vacations.

This is the last ever chance that you all will have to write me while I'm in Paraguay, can you believe it?? Seize the opportunity! :)

Several of you wondered if I got to celebrate the 4th of July at all even though it's not a holiday here in Paraguay. The answer is yes. It was a wonderful sunny start of the week for us. We went fishing with the Elders on Monday (until we got too hot and bored...nobody even got a nibble) and actually got sunburned. None of us were expecting that. You get sunburned in July at HOME, not here in the Southern Hemisphere! It's not acting very winter-ish this year. The mornings get kind of chilly, but nothing to major.

We got to have district meeting on Wednesday instead of Tuesday because our district leader was at a training meeting over the weekend, so we gringos all got to celebrate Independence Day together. Hna. Goimarac and I provided an apple pie, which neither of us had ever made before (but we HAD to make it--"As American as apple pie"--no other dessert would do) but it turned out to be great. The Elders scarfed it down so quickly. :) She and I both wore patriotic red, white, and blue outfits, and to start district meeting we all sang The Star-Spangled Banner. Someone provided a little flag, so we sang it standing with our hands over our hearts. It gave me chills, despite the relative silliness of the situation. I'm so grateful for my country. God bless the USA! The one latino Elder in our district was such a sport for letting us celebrate our national holiday. He enjoyed taking pictures of it all.

Now it's the 9th already. Wow. I'm down to single digits in the number of days I have left as a missionary. Sad.

My only goals at this point are to meet my weekly contacting goals and to see the Meza family baptized. If I accomplish that, I will die happy. The contacting part is going really well so far. This last week was brutal, because after the sunny 4th of July it got really cold. Literally over the course of an hour it went from blazing hot to freezing cold. We couldn't find anybody on the streets to contact, and even clapping houses proved unfruitful. Nobody wanted to leave the warmth of their beds to come talk to us. As of yesterday morning we only had like 30 contacts each. It was pathetic.

But then we were saved by a championship soccer match between Cerro and Olympia, the two biggest clubs in Paraguay. It was a sunny day again, and everyone and their dog was in the middle of town to watch the game with their friends (literally. Dogs EVERYWHERE). At halftime, we got to talk with SO MANY people, and we easily caught up on our contacting goals and found some cool people to teach. The Lord is so nice to us. :)

And the Mezas came to church yesterday and are scheduled to be baptized this Saturday, finally. PLEASE pray that it happens. So far we have no reason to think that it won't, but it should have happened a month ago and little things just keep popping up. To have their baptism be my last would be the perfect icing on the cake.

Hna. Goimarac is going to have lots more baptisms after I leave. We had such a great turnout at church yesterday. Almost all of our progressing investigators came, and we even got one of our long-time investigators (Bernardina, if you remember her) to FINALLY come to church. I think she really liked it, and we were so proud of her for taking the leap of faith. She was asking us for the details of the Meza baptism this Saturday, wanting to come see it. I have hope for her, and I can't wait to hear all about the baptisms that follow after I leave.

This last week of training I'm just trying to soak in all there is to love about Paraguay. The training manual actually says that Hna. Goimarac is supposed to lead in ALL planning and teaching situations. So basically I just get to play co-pilot. Nice. :) I just get to watch Hna. Goimarac shine, occasionally correcting her Spanish or clarifying her ideas and getting to testify a lot. It's so fun. I'm feeling so much bolder and excited to talk with people now that I realize that my time is so short.

Man, in next week's e-mail I'm gonna be so emotional. Just warning you.

But there's still LOTS of time for me to be a missionary. :) This week we used Job a lot with our menos activos to talk about the importance of trials and the love of God. I also read D&C 121-127 this week, and I found that I really love sections 121, 122, and 127. I already knew that 121 and 122 were excellent (they're quoted a LOT), but it's just so encouraging to see that everybody who follows the Lord is going to have opposition and trials. Nobody is exempt, and nobody is cut off from the love of God. Trials don't mean lack of love on God's part. If anything they mean that He is more confident in us. I'm so grateful for the eternal perspective in my life. If I didn't know that blessings and eternal good would come from enduring trials, I probably wouldn't have any strength to support them. But now that I know what the purpose of trials is, I feel like I can take on anything.

We'll see what the Lord has in store for me after this mission. It's kind of scary. I feel like I'm about to fall off the edge of the world, with no idea what awaits me. But whatever it is, I know it'll be great. The Lord's got it all figured out.

Have an excellent week, everybody. I love you so much and thank you for all that you do.

---Hna. Springer

Here's some random photos!

1-Hna. Goimarac getting all tangled up in her attempt at Paraguay river-style fishing
2-A boat on the river
3-Me by the river getting sunburned
4-Me with the pie that we made for the Fourth of July

Week 79 - Paraguay - Concepcion

Queridos Parientes y Amigos,

I feel like I was just barely here at the internet cafe and I don't have much else to say except SOMEBODY SLOW DOWN THE CLOCK PLEASE!! I have no idea where the last two months went. It seems like my whole mission I was so aware of how much time I had left, but now the end has just snuck up on me all of a sudden. 

I gave my last testimony in my very last Fast and Testimony Meeting yesterday. Can you believe that? Yesterday morning I was considering just not bearing my testimony at all. I kind of liked the idea of just sneaking out of Concepcion without the pain of saying goodbye to everybody. But then we were sitting in Sacrament meeting and I was really emotional from my fasting and from the fact that it was my third-to-last Sunday and because the Meza family hadn't shown up. There was a long pause where nobody got up to bear their testimony, so I decided to break the awkward silence and make myself get up and speak. I still wasn't planning on saying goodbye, but I eventually did. I didn't want the fuss of having everyone count down the days for me, but I know it would have hurt their feelings if I hadn't said anything. Besides, goodbyes are sometimes the best times to tell someone that you love them, and I LOVE this branch so it had to be done.

But that wasn't the only reason why I'm writing about how I bore my testimony. I had another one of those "God DOES love me" moments while I was up there. I was just talking about how God shapes us by giving us difficult moments where we'll learn to rely on Him. I had just wrapped up a story about how I know that God does know our hearts and loves us, and then...Juan Angel walked in. I don't really know what I said after that. I was mostly talking to God in my head after that, thanking Him for once again taking care of Juan Angel and showing me that everything will work out. I had been so worried about Juan Angel and his family, wondering why they hadn't come to church, wondering if he'd smoked over the weekend. Then there he came--a half hour late and looking like he'd just thrown on whatever clothes he could find to make it to church on time, but he'd made the effort to come. I couldn't help but cry, and I'm sure the congregation noticed what had caused the tears to flow all of a sudden. 

I was so happy the rest of the day. Juan Angel happily told us that thanks to the many hard candies we've been providing, he hasn't smoked since last week. He and his family are still preparing to be baptized, and best of all, now Juan Angel knows that I'm leaving soon so he's anxious to be baptized before I go. 

The branch is being so great. They were about as excited to see him come to church as we were, and several of them have gone to visit the Meza family throughout the week. They already feel like members. We just have to make it official. :)

On Saturday night the Mezas even came to the District Family Night held at our chapel. It was a very cute event, though a little unorganized. They told everyone to come at 6:00pm, but it didn't actually start until 8:00. They played "Night at the Museum 2" to entertain the few who DID come on time, but they'd mostly counted on everyone to come two hours late. It was an okay idea, except for those of us who actually came on time (especially us missionaries, who can't watch TV...). They were so bored. Night at the Museum relies a lot on history knowledge for its jokes and....let's just say that most of those in attendance weren't history buffs. 

But when the Family Night did actually start, it was wonderful. They started with a little fireside about the importance of the family, and then they had a Show de Talentos (yes, they actually say "show" here. No Spanish translation for that word, I guess). They had everyone perform talents as FAMILIES, not as individuals, and it was adorable. There was mostly singing and traditional dancing. My favorite was an act put on by a young couple in our branch. They did a traditional Paraguayan dance complete with costumes. The dance was one that's usually performed just with couples--it's supposed to be a flirtatious, romantic dance--but they included their eight-month-old son in the routine, passing him between them and such. It was SO CUTE. The looks of love they had in their eyes was so precious, especially since it extended to their baby. It was so beautifully symbolic of how fun families can be and how the fun in your life doesn't end when you have children. It was so perfect for the theme of the activity. The pictures I got of it aren't great quality, but I will never forget that little family.

Aside from that...there just really isn't much to tell about this week. Our progressing investigators are doing pretty well aside from church attendance :( but we had great days this week just meeting new people and sowing new seeds. It's really REALLY sad for me to know that even if we find the coolest investigator ever who comes to church three weeks in a row and wants to be baptized ASAP...I won't be here for it. :( 

That doesn't mean that I'm discouraged or lazy, though. As with Crecencio, I've seen several times that it takes every missionary's effort to get these people to change their lives. Maybe I won't see any more convert baptisms after the Meza family, but I can still change peoples' lives by starting them on that first step or helping them continue down the road towards salvation. I know I'm not done here, yet. The Lord still has a lot in store for me. If He didn't, He wouldn't have me stay two weeks longer. :) 

Thank you Grandma, Laurel, Sarah, Dad, Mom, Goompa, and the Blairs for writing to me this week. And since I'm sure the Goimaracs will be reading this, too, HAPPY BIRTHDAY HNA. GOIMARAC'S DAD!! :) 

I love you all!! Have a fantastic week!

---Hna. Springer

1-4= pictures of an adorable little family who, at District Family Night, put on a traditional Paraguayan dance for us. The lighting was awful so my pictures aren't great, but I just love the look in their eyes as they show the world that even married couples with kids can still dance. :) 
5- This one's mostly for Ashley. The decorations place next-door to us has two siamese cats that are often found sleeping in the display case where I guess it's pretty warm. It always makes me think of "Elf" whenever we catch them in there.